1. Remember self-care. You will be extra busy. You will also have your own grief and losses that surface. This is a time to put self-care first. As your clients present with increased need and your workplace becomes increasingly stressed, you need to maintain your inner serenity. So despite the social engagements mounting and the to do list tripling, do not cut your self-care routine. You need it now more than ever.
2. Remember that your clients may be struggling to maintain their balance. The added obligations that occur during the holiday season can make it hard for clients to keep their appointments. Add to that school breaks, emotional stress, and family stress, and you can anticipate that when the need is the highest they may struggle to engage you. Give them frequent reminders, be a good role model (number 1), and remind them that in order to take care of others they must be healthy. Most importantly remind them to give themselves grace. The holidays can be hard. They also won't last forever.
Returning from Thanksgiving, I began the annual routine of filling every room with a Christmas tree, hanging stockings, setting out nativities, and essentially transforming my space into a winter wonderland. As I began this process that I love so much I also meditated on the importance of tradition, remembrance, and expectations. The holidays can be a painful time for those who have experienced a loss. Some of the points below may help.
1. Remember you don't have to be happy over the holidays. In fact, you should feel exactly as you do. You should also remember that you aren't alone, there are others that feel as you do. Whatever you do, don't "should yourself".
2. The holidays are not forever. Whether you are having the best time of your life or feel at your lowest low, this too shall pass.
3. Drop your expectations. Each Christmas will be special in it's own way. No Christmas will be exactly as you pictured it.
4. Traditions can be helpful to processing grief and loss. As I hang stockings, I recall memories of my grandmother who is now passed and lovingly made them each by hand. As I hang ornaments, I share memories with my children. Some ornaments remind me of people I miss, some of Christmas' that were painful, some make us laugh, and some make us cry. As we decorate, we also take in our collective history. We share it, each supporting each other.
5. #4 above is beautiful and it works for me, BUT don't forget that traditions were made to be broken. You may find that your previous traditions don't work for you. The only thing guaranteed by a choice is the opportunity to make a new one. So if something isn't working for you, change it.
6. It is often helpful to remember people. Perhaps you will make a dish that reminds you of someone who is no longer with you, play their favorite game, or share stories about them. All of these are helpful and healing. It is also important to remember that the holidays can be overwhelming. Avoid isolating, but also build in some time to decompress.
