Here is a common internal dialogue for a social work student, a new social worker, any social worker thoughtfully facing the challenge of social work, and frankly those of us just being human:
" Oh no, here we go. Can I do this? Am I good enough? Do I REALLY know what I am doing? Someone really trusts ME to do this (panic), what if I forget a theory? a technique? What if I mess up? What if I do something wrong?"
There are several variations of this internal dialogue but all of them involve the fear of making a mistake, being wrong, or failing. So below is my response, to students, those I supervise, and to my own internal dialogue.
"Yes, you can do this. Yes, you are good enough. Yes, you REALLY do know what you are doing. Yes, you can be trusted. Yes, you will forget a theory, you will forget a technique, you will mess up, and you will be WRONG!"
I don't care how much you prepare or how hard you work you will make mistakes, you will stumble, you will be wrong. As a matter of fact I am encouraging you to be wrong, to embrace it! There are a lot of great reasons to go out and fall on your face.
Being wrong is linked to innovation. In Being Wrong, Shulz (2010) remarks that being wrong is linked to empathy, optimism, imagination, conviction, and courage. It is a crucial part of learning and change. Schulz argues wrongness not rightness makes us who we are. Here are a few points to consider:
1) Innovation involves risk.
By definition if you are innovating you are doing something new. This means you don't know what the outcome will be. Innovation is important to growth and change. If you try something new, it may work or it may fail. You can't discover the next breakthrough if you are afraid of failure.
2) You will ask your clients to try new things that terrify them.
People come to see a social worker because they are faced with a challenge in life, are striving for something new, or want to reach the next step in their journey. They have identified something they want to change. As a social worker you work with amazing people. Our clients are strong and resilient. They have established coping skills and survival strategies that have sustained them through the difficult journey of life. You will ask them to let go of some or all of these strategies. You will ask them to risk trying thing in a new way. You will tell them that if they want something new they will have to do something new. You will present the idea of letting go of what they know and approaching life in a new way. This is a grand challenge and one that you must be willing to take yourself if you are to work with people authentically.
You can only give away what you have. If you don't know how to give yourself grace and gentleness, you won't be able to teach your clients how to embrace this for themselves. You aren't perfect and your clients aren't perfect, and here is the perfect part about that...you aren't supposed to be!
4) Get over yourself.
As a social worker you are an important part of your client's system, but make no mistake you are just a part. You are not the all powerful Wizard of Oz. You do not have the ability to change anything or anyone. You simply do your part to empower, facilitate, and advocate for change. Don't get me wrong, you are an important change agent, but it is critical that you acknowledge that you are a piece in a very large puzzle. Your mistakes will neither break your client nor save them...you just aren't that powerful.
5) Being wrong is a crucial part of learning and change.
You will learn by trying new things, thinking outside the box, stretching and growing. Sometimes it will come off brilliantly and sometimes it won't. Each of these experiences is an important piece of your growth. Being wrong is critical to learning. In order to learn, social workers should approach "mistakes" with curiosity. This is why we assess practice. We ask ourselves, "What lesson can I learn from this experience?"
Learning how to be an amazing social worker (and human being) involves the art of learning how to be wrong. How do I balance risk with safety? How do I respond to failure? What do I learn from being wrong? How do I own and model my humanness? All of these things are skills to be learned just as you have learned and honed other practice skills.
It just may be that there really are no mistakes, only learning experiences!
Schulz, K. (2010). Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error. Ecco / HarperCollins.
