The Celebration of Being Wrong

     I have a bold pronouncement for future social workers, go out into the world and be wrong!  Yes, I said be wrong.

   Here is a common internal dialogue for a social work student, a new social worker, any social worker thoughtfully facing the challenge of social work, and frankly those of us just being human:

  " Oh no, here we go. Can I do this?  Am I good enough? Do I REALLY know what I am doing?  Someone really trusts ME to do this (panic),  what if I forget a theory? a technique? What if I mess up? What if I do something wrong?"

    There are several variations of this internal dialogue but all of them involve the fear of making a mistake, being wrong, or failing.  So below is my response, to students, those I supervise, and to my own internal dialogue.

   "Yes, you can do this.  Yes, you are good enough. Yes, you REALLY do know what you are doing. Yes, you can be trusted.  Yes, you will forget a theory, you will forget a technique, you will mess up, and you will be WRONG!"

   I don't care how much you prepare or how hard you work you will make mistakes, you will stumble, you will be wrong.  As a matter of fact I am encouraging you to be wrong, to embrace it!  There are a lot of great reasons to go out and fall on your face. 

Being wrong is linked to innovation. In Being Wrong, Shulz  (2010) remarks that being wrong is linked to empathy, optimism, imagination, conviction, and courage.  It is a crucial part of learning and change. Schulz argues wrongness not rightness makes us who we are.  Here are a few points to consider:

1)  Innovation involves risk.
By definition if you are innovating you are doing something new.  This means you don't know what the outcome will be.  Innovation is important to growth and change.  If you try something new, it may work or it may fail.  You can't discover the next breakthrough if you are afraid of failure.

2)  You will ask your clients to try new things that terrify them.   
People come to see a social worker because they are faced with a challenge in life, are striving for something new, or want to reach the next step in their journey.  They have identified something they want to change.  As a social worker you work with amazing people.  Our clients are strong and resilient.  They have established coping skills and survival strategies that have sustained them through the difficult journey of life.  You will ask them to let go of some or all of these strategies.  You will ask them to risk trying thing in a new way.  You will tell them that if they want something new they will have to do something new.  You will present the idea of letting go of what they know and approaching life in a new way.  This is a grand challenge and one that you must be willing to take yourself if you are to work with people authentically.

 3)  Model being a perfectly imperfect self.
You can only give away what you have.  If you don't know how to give yourself grace and gentleness, you won't be able to teach your clients how to embrace this for themselves.  You aren't perfect and your clients aren't perfect, and here is the perfect part about that...you aren't supposed to be!

4) Get over yourself.
As a social worker you are an important part of your client's system, but make no mistake you are just a part.  You are not the all powerful Wizard of Oz.  You do not have the ability to change anything or anyone.  You simply do your part to empower, facilitate, and advocate for change.  Don't get me wrong, you are an important change agent, but it is critical that you acknowledge that you are a piece in a very large puzzle.  Your mistakes will neither break your client nor save them...you just aren't that powerful.

5)  Being wrong is a crucial part of learning and change.
You will learn by trying new things, thinking outside the box, stretching and growing.  Sometimes it will come off brilliantly and sometimes it won't.  Each of these experiences is an important piece of your growth.  Being wrong is critical to learning.  In order to learn, social workers should approach "mistakes" with curiosity.  This is why we assess practice.  We ask ourselves, "What lesson can I learn from this experience?"

Learning how to be an amazing social worker (and human being) involves the art of learning how to be wrong.  How do I balance risk with safety?  How do I respond to failure?  What do I learn from being wrong?  How do I own and model my humanness?  All of these things are skills to be learned just as you have learned and honed other practice skills.

It just may be that there really are no mistakes, only learning experiences!

Schulz, K. (2010). Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error.  Ecco / HarperCollins.

Pictures from:  Failure Stories Behind The Most Famous & Successful People Of the World, By ZQ, On May 29, 2013, http://www.designbolts.com/2013/05/29/failure-stories-behind-the-most-famous-successful-people-of-the-world/

The Price of a Dream

I recently read a post (linked here) highlighting President Obama's student loan initiatives.  In the same post he says he wants more young people to become social workers (among other "helping" professions mentioned) and to be in a position to follow their dreams.  I read this post on Facebook, and as I scrolled through the comments, I noticed a common theme.  Most of the comments were negative.  They pointed to the low wages social workers earn, the poor investment of paying for a degree when your annual salary is likely to be less than the cost of your education, and how social workers are underpaid and under appreciated.  These comments struck me as somehow false, but I didn't get very far with that idea.  Yes they didn't ring true to me, but I couldn't really figure out why.  As both a social worker and a social work educator, I am aware of both the salary range for social workers and the cost of social work education.  Higher education is expensive and costs continue to rise.  Although social work jobs are in high demand, salaries are modest.  So my "feelings" and the "facts" didn't quite mesh and I tabled the discussion in my head.

Today as I was meeting with my colleagues we had a discussion that reopened the debate.  We were discussing how to approach a cost benefit analysis on an important research project.  The discussion revolved around the cost of a complex human problem.  During this discussion it occurred to me that my "feelings" and my "facts" didn't mesh because I had oversimplified my facts.

It is a common mistake, measuring costs and benefits in simple dollars and cents.  The truth is the "cost" of our choices is far more than any monetary amount will ever capture and so are the "benefits".  I once had a phone conversation with a friend while I was on my way to the office on a Saturday.  When the friend found out where I was headed they quickly offered sympathies.  In that moment I was reminded of what I have always known.  Social work is special.  I had the privilege of saying, "It's okay.  I like it".    Those who know me know I love, triple love my work.  The passion I feel for the work and the fullness it gives me are rare in a world of dollars and cents.  It's heart work.  Being a social worker isn't a "job" it is a state of being.  We get to be present with people where they are. They share with us their strength and their vulnerability.  They honor us with their story.  They invite us to travel with them on this journey of life.  You just can't quantify the benefit of that. 

I am known for challenging my students to practice radical self-care.  Maybe it is time I also challenge everyone else to radical, passionate, fulfilling work.  I wake up every day with the privilege and honor to go to "work".  That is a benefit you may never quantify but I sure hope you get to experience it.

The picture below is of OLLU Worden School of Social Service Spring Social Work Graduates.  My wish for them is all the wealth that social work has to offer.  In my experience....they will be very rich indeed.

The Power of Community

Isn't it brilliant when something catches you?  You weren't looking for it.  It just jumps out and catches you.  This blog is one of those moments.  Throughout the last few months one theme has grabbed me...community.

I have spent the last few months surrounded by beautiful, strong women.  Women who lift each other up, who comfort and nurture each other.  Isn't this life, we all need each other.  We need community.  Patch Adams described the pull for community and togetherness.

"We need each other, deeper than anyone ever dares to admit even to themselves. I think it is a genetic imperative that we huddle together and hold on to each other. There is no question in my mind that there is nothing else in life, really, than friendship.-- Patch Adams 

The last few months I have been nurtured by community.  I thought about how to share the role of community and what being a "part of" does for us.  Then I was out running.  As I hit this hill, out of breath and tired, there was a Dad at the bottom of the hill pushing a carriage with two girls in it. 
 

 
As he struggled to get the older girl to get out and walk the hill, I leaned over and whispered to her "race you to the top".  We both smiled and off we went.  We made it to the top of that hill, the 5 year, the Dad with the carriage, and me.  We all made it.  In that moment our community lifted all of us up.  It was just a moment, but it illustrates what community does for us. With the help of our community we can go a little farther, reach a little higher, and feel a little deeper.  So this blog is filled with gratitude for the community of women who continue to love me for who I am, who lift me up when I am down, who see all the best in me, and who are always there both at the bottom of the hill and at the top.  

That hill reminds me of something great in life as well as something great in social work.  Social work is about connecting people.  Strengthening the bonds that support them and building new community.  Frances Moore Lappe said it well,

"I also believe that it's almost impossible for people to change alone. We need to join with others who will push us in our thinking and challenge us to do things we didn't believe ourselves capable of. "
-- Frances Moore Lappe

So keep pushing each other, keep challenging each other, and keep loving each other.  At the top of the hill....and at the bottom.

The Next Right Thing: Authenticity

I received the greatest compliment this week.  You are a great
colleague?  You're so smart? Talented? Well-dressed? Organized? Do you
give up?  It was none of these things.  The compliment I received was
(drum role please)....."You are so real".

Authenticity

I received the greatest compliment this week.  You are a great colleague?  You're so smart? Talented? Well-dressed? Organized? Do you give up?  It was none of these things.  The compliment I received was (drum role please)....."You are so real".

Social work students often want to know what it takes to be a great clinician.  How do you do it, they ask?  What is most important?  What makes you good?  I love these questions because they have very simple yet very difficult answers.

A clinical social worker spends years in training.  At a minimum they will complete a masters degree from a University with a social work degree program accredited by the Council on Social Work Education.  They will clock a minimum of 900 hours of supervised education in the field as a student, take a state licensing exam, and then spend a minimum of 24 months working in a clinical position while receiving over a 100 hours of supervision.  When they have completed that, they will take an additional licensing exam.  So yes education is important, and yes supervision is important.    As a social work educator I am acutely aware of the intensive curriculum my students are trained in. I am also careful to remind them not to forget some simple qualities that may present quite a difficulty.

Social work is a human profession.  One human being guiding another on their journey.  It's not just books,  or computer algorithms,  it is human to human.  So when my students ask me what it takes to be great, one of the things I talk to them about is authenticity.  I tell them not to get so lost in theory, skills, and treatment plans that they forget to be real. 

This may sound simple and in some ways it is, after all we have been told by our mothers since we were young to "just be ourselves".  We learn that we are unique and that no one will be as good at being us as us, but in a world where we are often judged by what we "do" instead of who we "are" we can find ourselves constantly stretching for the next mile marker, wanting to hide our flaws, and anticipating where others will find us lacking.  All of this makes the simple task of being "real" very difficult.

This can be especially challenging for new social workers.  Armed with a passion to help others and a great education, they are still new.  Even when we are seasoned in our chosen profession we can be humbled by what we don't know.  After all we are always learning and growing....it's a journey.  The humility of recognizing we have a lifetime of knowledge to learn from our clients is good for us.  Great in fact, but humility is different from fear.  For the freshly graduated social work student realizing that they will enter the field with more questions than answers can be more than humbling.  It can be terrifying.  More than one of us as entered a new experience wondering when everyone will realize we don't belong there, we are just an imposter.  The problem is that fear can interfere with our ability to connect with people and connecting with people is essential to good social work practice.  When we are afraid we may be defensive or put up unnecessarily rigid boundaries.  Being "real" is  just not consistent with making sure no one discovers you are a fraud.  So I encourage students to take a risk, to trust themselves, and just be "real".  They will make mistakes, they will stumble, they will learn, and they will end up exactly where they are supposed to be.

So here is to being real.  Messy, imperfect, and quite amazing!




Information on social work education can be accessed at the Council of Social Work Education at:
http://www.cswe.org/File.aspx?id=31580

The Next Right Thing: Why the next right thing?

The Next Right Thing: Why the next right thing?: Welcome to my inaugural blog...gulp! I decided to embark on this blog as a step in moving toward a calling that has been nagging at me for...

Why the next right thing?

Welcome to my inaugural blog...gulp!

I decided to embark on this blog as a step in moving toward a calling that has been nagging at me for over a year now.  I felt moved, pulled, called, driven to write a book.  That was over a year ago.  In the time between the inspiration hitting and now, I have spent many hours attempted to write said book.  The truth is I've written the book many times in my head, but when I go to put it to paper I freeze.  I know what I need to say, I know it needs to be said, I even know how to say it, but when it comes down to it I'm terrified to say it.  Those of you who know me well are acutely aware of my ability to face life head on.  In most situations I am blessed with a courage to push through fear and move forward.  One of my favorite and often repeated quotes (both internally and to other) is: 

"Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the determination that something else is more important"...Ambrose Redmoon

In fact if you know anything about my life, you know that a blinking cursor on a computer screen is minute compared to the mountains climbed and the valley's crossed.  In some ways that is why it has taken me so long to acknowledge...I'm afraid!  Of course the truth is I'm not afraid of the computer.  After a PhD program, a monster dissertation, and journal articles, the computer is now part of the family.  I'm afraid of being vulnerable.  Gulp! 

No I'm not writing a memoir.  My life's not THAT interesting, but I'm not writing a research piece either. I'm writing a book that is informed by my clinical work and my academic knowledge but also my lived experience.  To come alive the book requires....a piece of me. 

So how did I climb those mountain and walk through those valley?  I just kept doing the next right thing, and before I knew it I was on the other side.  So this blog is step one in harnessing "the determination that something else is more important." :)